I do Don't I?
by magnoliasims
Summary: Rachel Lockhart used to be best friends with Micky Dolenz, but time and circumstance lead them to lose contact completely until Rachel discovers Micky is about to be married. Encouraged to attend the wedding by Micky's daughter, Rachel decides to make a trip to LA and drop in on her old friend. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

Rachel Lockhart had been best friends with Jennifer Wyatt when Jennifer had married Micky Dolenz of The Monkees and she was godmother to Micky and Jennifer's daughter, Natalie Dolenz. She had been so happy for Jennifer and Micky because they made such a great couple. However, Rachel had not spoken to Jennifer for nearly thirty years. They had fallen out when Jennifer had decided to divorce Micky. When the Monkees ended Micky took it very hard and soon found ways to distract himself, mainly through drink, drugs and wild parties at the Dolenz household. Rachel had begged Jennifer not to give up on the marriage that Micky was in trouble and needed Jennifer's support. Jennifer hadn't listened and went ahead with the divorce anyway. Rachel was infuriated, and the two women never spoke again. Micky had gone to stay with Rachel when his marriage ended and the two of them became the best of friends. Rachel helped Micky to sober up and stop his wild partying. He became the Micky Rachel remembered again. He eventually got his own apartment and began dating. Rachel herself married and Micky married again for the second time. Micky's wedding to Kathryn Arnold had been the last time Micky and Rachel had seen each other. Micky moved to England with his new wife and Rachel stayed in America with her husband and son, and she and Micky lost contact. She had no idea how it had happened and she missed him terribly.

Although one thing about Micky was that he was still famous, even now almost forty years after the Monkees had started, so it was quite easy for Rachel to keep track of her former best friend and she had come so close to calling him so many times, but something had always stopped her.

One day Rachel was aimlessly surfing the internet and wondered into a site dedicated to Micky where she stumbled across some news she hadn't been expecting, The headline read `Micky to wed for a third time'. Rachel's eyes widened and she almost dropped her coffee mug. She clicked on the headline to read more. It didn't give much detail, just that Micky was to marry girlfriend Denise Robinson in a ceremony in LA on November 9th. She stared at the words unable to take in what she was reading. She knew Micky had divorced Kathryn sometime in the 90s but had no idea he would marry again. She looked at the date again, November 9th...that was only two days away! She started to panic, how could he get married again and not tell her! She decided to call the one Dolenz she was still in contact with. She dialled the number and waited impatiently to be connected. Finally some one picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi Nat,"

"Aunt Rachel!" The voice sounded surprised but pleased" Hi how are you, I've really missed you" Natalie said. Granted Rachel was still in contact with Natalie but they hadn't spoken for a number of months... okay so it was more like a year, or three, something Rachel regretted. Natalie had been like a daughter to her and she should not of lost contact so easily... like she had done with Micky.

"I'm fine thanks sweetheart, listen I was thinking of coming out to LA for a few days".

"Really! That's so great, are you gonna bring James?" James was Rachel's twenty-year-old son from her marriage. No matter what had happened between their parents Natalie and James had managed to stay in contact and were as close as ever, Natalie treated him like a younger brother and James treated her as an older sister.

"I dunno yet I'm not even sure if I'm coming it's just an idea I've been kicking around with".

"Oh you have to come I know Dad would love it, I don't know why you won't let me give him your number he loves you aunt Rach, you know he does, he's been in love with you since Mom divorced him. I just know he'd be psyched to see you".

"It's not that simple Nat, I can't just show up a few days before his wedding and say, Hi Mick long time no see let's go grab a burger, can I!"

"Yeah I suppose you're right".

"So it's true then?"

"What is?"

"About your father getting married again, it's true" Rachel asked a little cautiously.

"Yeah it's true, it's this Saturday" Natalie replied and Rachel could swear she heard a hint of disappointment in Natalie's voice.

"What's she like then this Denise person? Is she good to your father?"

"She's okay, she's nice but she's the same age as me. I love my dad aunt Rach and I don't want him to get hurt like he did with Kathryn. It took him a long time to get over her and now he's rushing into this thing with Denise and I'm worried about him."

"He's a big boy honey, he can look after himself, and you know he'd never do anything unless he was completely sure of it."

"I know but I can't help but think that if you were around when he divorced Kathryn that he'd be marrying you this Saturday instead."

"Well I..." but Rachel couldn't finish, Natalie cut in.

"I like Denise I really do but there are only two people I want my father to be with, one is my mother, and I think we both know that's never gonna happen and the other is you."

"I know sweetheart but Micky and I are just friends, well we're not even that any more and he's getting married again he's obviously happy with her otherwise he wouldn't be marrying her would he" Rachel said.

"Come to the wedding" Natalie blurted.

"Pardon?!" Rachel asked.

"Come to the wedding" Natalie repeated, "You can surprise him I can see his face now he'll be ecstatic."

"Don't be silly, I'm not invited I can't just gate crash a wedding" Rachel told her, a little stunned that Natalie could even suggest such a thing.

"Of course you can and anyway you won't be gate crashing, you're family and Dad would want you there" Rachel tried to argue but Natalie was far too persuasive. Later that day Rachel found herself buying two plane tickets to LA and taking some paid holiday from work. She told James of her plans and said there was a ticket for him if he wanted it, which of course he did. Anyone would be crazy to give up a trip to LA. Rachel and James boarded their plane and arrived in LA at 10:30 in the morning. Natalie was waiting for them along with someone else Rachel hadn't seen for almost thirty-five years.


	2. Chapter 2

"PETER!" Rachel cried and ran over to him.

"Hi sweetheart" Peter said and the two embraced in a long hug. Peter hardly looked any different to Rachel. His long sandy hair had been replaced with short spiky hair and he had a small goatee beard, but apart from that he looked the same.

"I've missed you so much, how have you been?" She asked

"I've missed you, I've been okay, thank you. Life's been kind to me, how about you?"

"Can't complain I suppose" Rachel replied and they finally let go of each other but kept hold of each other's hands "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Nats called and asked for a lift to the airport and when I heard who she was picking up I couldn't say no could I" Peter replied.

"You look so good, you've gotten a lot more handsome over the years, I always said you were the cutest Monkee" Rachel told him and Peter's face broke out into a big dimpled grin.

"Why thank you ma'am".

"Man I've missed that smile".

"It's been too long Rach, why did we ever lose contact?" Peter asked.

"I have no idea, I ask myself the same question every day," Rachel told him. "Last I heard, you were about to get married".

"I did, I was married for four years but unfortunately it didn't last".

"Oh I'm sorry" Rachel said. Peter shrugged.

"C'est la vie" he said, "I've got two wonderful kids though. Carrie is twenty-six and Nick is twenty-nine, they live not far away from me and we're very close, I love them very much".

"That's great Pete, I can't wait to meet them. So you never married again?"

"Na, I had a girlfriend for a while but we broke up a couple of years ago, I'm okay about it. I've got my kids and my music that's all that's  
important to me".

James was hovering around behind his mother, he had never met Peter before so he wasn't quite sure what to do. Natalie on the other hand he knew as his annoying sister, although they were not related by blood, and Natalie was over ten years older then James, they were very close and spoke almost every day and wrote letters to each other.

"Hey pea brain," Natalie said to James while Rachel was talking to Peter.

"Hi big nose" He replied. They were both grinning from ear to ear about being able to see each other in the flesh for the first time in years. They hugged.

"Operation Dolenz-Lockhart is in full swing," Natalie whispered to her adopted little brother.

"I still don't think this is a good idea Nats, your dad is getting married tomorrow there is no way he's gonna dump Denise. Trust me, I've seen her pictures, she's a hotty" James said.

"Ew, Jimmy that's gross!"

"Well it's true she is, from what you've told me it sounds like your dad really loves her and I'm sorry, Nats, but this is not going to work".

"He does love Denise but he loves Rachel more, trust me on this, when my dad sees her tomorrow he'll realize what a mistake he's making".

"Well I hope you're right because if we get caught I'm totally blaming everything on you" James told her.

"Oh how mature! You don't have to worry, it will work I know it" Natalie said firmly.

Rachel introduced James to Peter then said hello to Natalie. Peter had ordered that Rachel and James were to stay with him for their trip and he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"I can't wait to see Micky's face tomorrow he's gonna be so happy to see you" Peter told Rachel as they drove to his place. Rachel was up front with Peter, Natalie and James were in the back squabbling as usual.

"You don't think he'll be mad at me do you? I mean I feel as though I'm gatecrashing" Rachel told Peter.

"Are you kidding! Of course he won't be mad he's gonna be so psyched to see you, anyway if you're that worried about it then come as my date. I haven't found any one to go with yet so please, be my plus one, you'd be doing me a favour" Peter reassured her.

"You not taking Carrie?"

"No, she and her brother have gone to visit their mother in Chicago, I'd really like it if you came with me Rach" Peter said and a big grin covered Rachel's face.

"I'd love to be your date Peter thank you," She thought about something and then looked at Peter "so...is Mike gonna be there tomorrow?" She asked and a small smile tugged at Peter's lips.

"He's been invited but whether he'll show or not is another story" Peter glanced at her sideways then said "You still hate him don't you".

"I never hated him Pete I just disliked him, the same as he disliked me. There was a personality clash that's all I don't know how Melanie could put up with him"

"Well she obviously doesn't have a problem with him she is his wife after all" He replied. Rachel wasn't sure what to say after that so she let the conversation drop. The silence made her aware of the arguing that was going on in the backseat.

"Jeez do those two ever stop fighting!" She said a little amused.

"They're a proper brother and sister that's for sure," Peter said with a small giggle "So come on then tell me how you feel about tomorrow?" He said.

"I'm nervous. What if he doesn't recognize me, what if he does recognize me but ignores me or worse has me thrown out!" she replied, the panic clear in his voice.

"Rach honey, you worry too much I promise he will recognise you, he carries a picture of you around in his wallet".

"He does? Really! That's weird! Remind me to show you something when we arrive at your place" She told him.


	3. Chapter 3

They arrived at Peter's twenty minutes later. Peter showed Rachel and James were they would be sleeping, then Natalie told Rachel she was taking James out to show him around. The two of them marched happily out the door leaving Peter and Rachel alone. Peter made some coffee and the two of them settled in the living room.

"So what is it you wanted to show me?" Peter asked.

"This" Rachel replied. She rummaged around in her handbag and pulled out her purse "You said Micky carries around a picture of me in his wallet, well guess what" She said and took something from her purse and handed it to Peter. He took it and realized it was a photo of Micky and Rachel.

"My goodness! Look at that, you guys must be in your early twenty's at least" Peter said as he grinned at the picture.

"We are, that was taken at Micky and Jenny's wedding in `68," Rachel told him. The picture was of Micky and Rachel grinning at each other like Cheshire cats, it looked as though they were dancing and they both looked so happy.

"You know, I used to have to biggest crush on you back then," Peter confessed.

"You did! Really?"

"Oh yeah. Davy used to tease me about it all the time, he never quite understood how you never picked up on it as well."

"Why didn't you tell me that thirty-five years ago? I had a crush on you as well," Rachel told him.

"You did!"

"Uh-huh."

"Wow, how dumb are we! I never told you because I thought that you were in love with Micky" Peter told her.

"Ew, no way! He was my best friends husband! That would've been wrong on so many levels!" Rachel said and Peter laughed.

"I guess you're right, so what about when he and Jennifer split up? I mean you guys lived together for quite a few years, didn't you think  
about it then?"

"Not at first no, I was too busy trying to help him get better. I suppose as time went on and he moved out and started dating again, I  
guess I thought about it then but he met Kathryn and I got married, so it wasn't meant to be."

"Natalie thinks Micky is in love with you". Peter said, looking at Rachel from the corner of his eye.

"I know, she tells me that every time I talk to her but I guess we'll never know if it's true or not."

"How do you feel about him now?" Peter asked. Rachel tried to avoid the question, but didn't know how.

"I haven't seen him for fifteen years Pete, I have no idea how I feel about him. I don't even know if we can be friends again we've been apart for so long."

"You and I haven't seen each other for thirty-years and look at us now, it's like I only saw you yesterday" Peter said.

"Yeah I know and I'm so happy to have you back in my life again, but with Micky, it's different. We were so close it's going to be hard to see if we can revive that same friendship you know."

"I guess you're right but let me tell you this, he still talks about you all the time. He calls you his saviour. I really admire the way you took care of him after he split up with Jennifer. He'll tell anyone who'll listen that you saved his life and I have to agree with Nats, I think he's in love with you" Peter told her.

Rachel didn't know what to say to that she was a bit stunned so she chose to say nothing and instead stared into her coffee like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Peter smiled then changed the subject "So how long are you and James planning on staying?"

The rest of the day pretty much consisted of the same thing. Peter and Rachel sitting around catching up and getting to know each other again. James returned at around six with Natalie still with him.

"Don't you guys ever get sick of each other?" Rachel asked as Natalie and James came in through the living room door.

"Yes" They both said at the same time then glared at each other.

"Are you sure those two aren't related?" Peter whispered.

"No, I'm not sure at all. Sometimes I'm amazed at how close they are considering their parents don't talk to each other anymore" Rachel whispered back.

"Will you two stop whispering about us" Natalie protested.

"Sorry" Peter and Rachel said in unison.

"Actually Aunt Rach, there's something I want to talk to you about" Natalie told her.

"There is? What is it?" Rachel asked

"Come with me" Natalie said and lead Rachel out of the room, leaving James and Peter alone to get to know each other.

"What's up honey?" Rachel asked when she and Natalie had settled at the kitchen table.

"My mom called while James and I were out."

"Called where?" Rachel asked a little confused.

"My cell" Natalie replied holding up her mobile phone.

"Oh right, I really need to catch up with technology."

"Anyway she called to tell me she's able to get off work and therefore she will be able to the wedding after all. So, it's not only Dad you'll be reunited with, it's Mom too" Natalie told her. Rachel sighed and rubbed her temples.

"Oh Nats, I can't go now. Jenny hates me. I haven't spoken to her for so many years."

"Of course you can go. I told Mom you'd be there. I think she's really looking forward to seeing you, Aunt Rach. She regrets the way she acted and she knows you were only trying to look out for her and Dad," Natalie said.

"She does hate me. I loved your mother like a sister and she cut me out of her life when all I wanted to do was help her. She does hate me," Rachel told her.

"You have to believe me she doesn't hate you. She really regrets losing you, she knows she was wrong and she wants you to forgive her."

"I can't believe this! First Micky and now Jenny too, Denise is not going to be happy if we overshadow her wedding."

"Does that mean you'll still come?" Natalie asked.

"I have to, I'm Peter's date I can't let him down" Rachel told her.

"Oh this is great" Natalie said and jumped up and hugged Rachel "I love you" She added.

"I love you too" Rachel replied. Rachel came back into the living room.

"Bye Uncle Peter, bye James, see you tomorrow" Natalie called as she headed out the door.

"Bye Nats" Peter replied. Rachel sat down and put her head in her hands "Everything okay?" Peter asked.

"Jenny's gonna be there tomorrow as well" She told him.

"Oh... big day" Peter said.

Later that night Rachel went to bed and laid out her outfit for the next day. She was feeling so nervous she could hardly breathe and didn't sleep at all that night. She hadn't counted on coming face to face with Jennifer as well as Micky and she had no idea what to expect at all.

When morning came Rachel got up and went downstairs to find James and Peter in the kitchen engrossed in deep conversation.

"What are you two talking about?" She asked as she came in through the kitchen door.

"Morning sweetheart, music mostly, James is thinking of starting a band," Peter told her.

"Oh he is, is he?" Rachel asked glaring at her son.

"It's just an idea Mum, nothing final" James said defensively.

"Do you want some breakfast, Rach?" Peter asked.

"No thank you," She told him. She poured some coffee and sat down at the table. Peter could tell she was overly nervous.

"You'll be fine" He reassured her "Come tomorrow you'll be laughing at how nervous you are now" He said placing a hand over hers.

"I hope so I'd be less nervous if it was just Micky but knowing Jenny's gonna be there as well is making me feel worse" She sighed then looked at her son "So have you decided if you're coming yet?" she asked him.

"Yeah I kinda have to, Natalie said if I don't then she'll tell everyone about the time I threw up over Mike Nesmith" James replied, wincing a little.

"Jeez I forgot all about that! Well hun you were only five at the time and it was your own fault for eating too much wedding cake" Rachel said with a giggle.

"Wait a minute when was this?" Peter asked.

"At Micky's wedding to Kathryn, you couldn't make it remember" Rachel told him.

"Oh yeah, well I'm sorry I missed that, I would've loved to have seen the look on Mike's face."

"Well he wasn't exactly very happy about it and also that's another reason why he dislikes me," Rachel added with another giggle.

"Why couldn't you make it to the wedding Peter?" James asked.

"I was in prison," Peter said. James stared at him, not really sure what to say.

"Oh" He replied finally.

Peter laughed "It's a long story I'll tell you about it sometime but the short version is I was caught trying to carry drugs over the border" He said.

"Really!" James said and Peter nodded.

"Like I said, I'll tell you the long version some time" He said with a grin.

Rachel spent the rest of the day locked up in her room staring at her wedding outfit, she was curled up on her bed and had been there a few hours when there was a knock on her bedroom door.

"Mum, are you okay? Can I come in?" it was James.

"Yeah sweetheart I'm fine and of course you can come in" She replied.

James opened the door and cautiously peered in, and then he came over and sat opposite his mother on the bed. He was silent for a moment then he said.

"Peter said if we're gonna be in LA a while he'd teach me how to play guitar." Rachel smiled.

"Is that your subtle way of asking me how long I wanna stay here?" She asked.

"Pretty much, yeah" James replied nodding and Rachel laughed.

"I don't know to be honest, I guess I'll have to see what happens at the wedding," She confessed.

"Well just so you know, I don't mind staying. I really like Peter, Mum, he seems like a good guy."

"He is, he's one of the best."

"Are you sure you're okay? I don't really remember Micky but from what Nats tells me you and he were pretty close."

"Yeah we were he's probably the one person who knows every single thing about me, he knows things even your father never knew, and I'm the same with him. I met him through Jennifer but he told me things about his past he never told her."

"So what happened? How did you lose contact?" James questioned and Rachel sighed.

"To be perfectly honest I have no idea. I think a lot of it had to do with Kathryn. At the time I was living in America with your father but Kathryn, who's also English, didn't want to stay in America so she made Micky move to England with her. Also Micky knew Kathryn didn't like me very much so she wasn't happy with him spending time with me."

"And you haven't seen him for fifteen years?" James asked and Rachel shook her head.

"Nope, we spoke on the phone for a couple of months but it was costing a fortune in overseas phone bills and then your father got real sick and I had to focus on taking care of him and my relationship with Micky was put on a back burner until it burned out altogether. I heard he moved back to America after he divorced Kathryn and then you and I moved to my native England after your father died. I should've called Micky so many times after he split with Kathryn but I never found the courage and now fifteen years later, here I am waiting to gatecrash his wedding."

"Oh mother I really wish you'd stop saying that! Both Peter and big nose have assured you you'll be welcome," James told her.

"Why do you insist on calling Natalie `big nose'?" Rachel asked letting out a small chuckle and James shrugged.

"I dunno, same reason she calls me `pea brain' I suppose, to wind each other up."

"James Michael Lockhart you are twenty years old for goodness sake."

"I know I just can't help it around Nats, she makes me feel about five years old again and I have the same effect on her. It's just the way we are, she treats me like a little brother and I treat her like an older sister" He replied.

"I don't really think I'll ever understand you two" Rachel said then changed the subject "Do you remember Davy at all?"

"Only what I've seen on television I don't remember ever having met him."

"Well you have. I made damn sure I lost Mike as soon as possible but I tried so hard not to lose Davy and Peter. I lost Peter pretty much the day the Monkees ended but I managed to keep in touch with Davy for a good number of years after that. You stayed with Davy and his wife Lindsay when you were three, when I came to pick you up you didn't want to leave, you had the best time and didn't stop talking about it for weeks afterwards".

"Really! Why did I go and stay with them?"

"I can't remember now, it was only for a weekend but I hated it I missed you so much."

"Well I'm sure I missed you too" James said.

The time had come far too quickly for Rachel's liking. Suddenly she was in Peter's car headed for the church, she had a sick feeling in the bottom of her stomach and all she wanted to do was go back home to London and hide in the corner of her flat but it was too late now, she was there and Peter was already pulling up outside the church. He turned to Rachel.

"You ready sweetheart?" He asked with a warm smile. She took a deep breath and turned to her friend.

"Yeah come on let's do it" She said. The two of them and James got out of the car and headed for the gate of the church and that's as far as Rachel got, she stopped outside the church "I can't do it Pete! I can't go in there, I just can't" She said as the sick feeling in her stomach began to rise up to her throat.

"Of course you can, come on you've come this far. I'm not going to let you back out now. It'll be fine, I promise. Anyway you said you'd be my  
date you're not letting me down now," Peter told her "I'm depending on you" He added.

"But what if..." She began to say but Peter stopped her.

"No more `buts' no more `what ifs' you'll never know anything unless you walk through that door" He said pointing at the door of the church.

"Come on, Mum, we've gotta go because if you don't go then I don't wanna go which means Natalie will tell every one about me throwing up on Mike" James added, prompting his mother a little more. Rachel looked from James to Peter then back to James again and saw the determination on their faces and realized there was no way she was going to win this one. She let out a breath she hadn't even realised she was holding.

"Okay fine, you win as always, you never let me win an argument," She told Peter and he smiled.

"It's why you love me, now come on let's get this show on the road" he said and cocked out his elbow so Rachel could slip her arm through it and the three of them walked through the gates.

Inside the church Micky Dolenz was getting anxious. He hated this part about getting married, the waiting part. He knew Denise would be late because Denise was always late. Micky couldn't recall her ever being on time at all during their relationship and that was making him even more nervous. He was sitting on the front pew tapping his foot nervously.

"What time is it now?" He asked his best man, Davy Jones, who was standing over him trying to calm him down.

"It's about two minutes since you last asked me" Davy replied irritably "I don't know why you insisted on leaving so early anyway, Denise isn't due for another forty-five minutes".

"I know, I just couldn't stand staring at those four walls any longer, I had to get out of that room" Micky confessed.

"Jeez, Mick, you've done this twice before I don't understand what you're so..." But Davy's sentence trailed off.

"You don't understand what I'm so...what? I really wish you'd finish your sentences Davy" Micky told him but Davy didn't reply. Micky looked up at him and realized he wasn't paying attention to him at all anymore, instead he was staring at something at the back of the church. Micky wondered what could be so fascinating it would make Davy trailing off mid-sentence so he stood up and turned around. He saw her immediately...the woman he hadn't seen for fifteen years clinging nervously to Peter's arm.

"My god" Were the only words he could manage before speech failed him completely.


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel saw him too, her breath caught in her chest as they made eye contact for the first time in fifteen years. She felt her legs turn to jelly and had no idea what to do. Apparently Peter had made the decision for her and started to lead her down the aisle towards Micky. Rachel wanted to scream at Peter to stop, she wasn't ready for this, not yet, she needed more time, if only she had more time. It was too late now, they reached Micky and Peter released Rachel's arms and walked round to Davy and pulled the stunned looking Englishman away so Rachel and Micky could be alone.

Rachel and Micky stared at each other, not sure what to say at first until Rachel finally found her voice again.

"Hello Micky" She said.

"Hello Rachel" He replied. They were silent again and Rachel couldn't help but feel a little awkward. Natalie was watching anxiously from the front of the church. She wished they would do something, anything, instead of standing and staring at each other. James was standing next to her.

"See told ya this wouldn't work!" He said.

"Sshh!" She hissed.

Micky couldn't believe she was standing in front of him, the woman he credited with saving his life and before he knew what he was doing he  
reached forward and embraced her in a long hug.

"I can't believe you're here. I've missed you so much Rach, you have no idea!" He told her.

"Oh I think I can imagine, if it's anywhere near how much I've missed you" She replied gripping him tightly, almost afraid to let him go.

"I've almost called you so many times I don't know why I didn't. I'm so glad you're here."

"Well I haven't missed one of your weddings yet have I!"

"This makes everything perfect. All my favourite girls under one roof, my daughter, my sister and you."

"And Denise, don't forget her" Rachel added. They finally let go of each other but Micky couldn't take his eyes off her.

"I didn't forget," He said with a small smile "You do know Jenny is coming, don't you?"

"Yeah I know, Nats told me. She's grown into such a beautiful young woman, Micky, you must be very proud."

"I am," He said with a big grin.

"So will Kathryn be coming today?" Rachel asked. The grin disappeared from Micky's face.

"No but let's not talk about her" He said quickly "I have to apologize to you Rach. I'm so sorry about Robert I tried to make it to the funeral but I was touring overseas and I couldn't get back in time."

"Don't worry about it, it was thirteen years ago, I know you were busy. I don't hold it against you" Rachel told him. Micky shook his head and his features turned deadly serious.

"No I should've been there, there was no excuse for me not to be there. You've been there for me through some of the toughest times in my life and I should've been there for you."

"Like I said, it's okay. You were busy" Rachel held his gaze for a moment before turning around and spotting James "Sweetheart come here" She called to her son. James wandered over nervously and Rachel put her arm around him.

"Micky, this is my son James, James this is my best friend in the whole world, Micky Dolenz."

"Hello Micky. It's nice to meet you" James said holding out his hand. Micky took it and shook it.

"You too, James. You know the last time I saw you, you were throwing up over Mike Nesmith" Micky said with a small chuckle and James cringed.

"Nats promised me no one would remember that!" He said.

"Well it's a pretty hard thing to forget, not that I'd want to. I'll never forget the look on his face, it was brilliant!"

"Not for me it wasn't" James replied, turning a lovely shade of pink and then Natalie came running over to them.

"Hey Jimmy, come see this," She said as she pulled James away from Micky and Rachel.

"I think that's my daughters tactful way of letting James know she wants us to be alone," Micky said with a grin.

"You don't mind that I'm here do you? I mean I wasn't invited and I..." But Rachel couldn't finish because Micky stopped her.

"Are you kidding! Of course I don't mind. It would've been so odd if you weren't here you've been by my side at the most important times in my life there's no way I'd want to go through this without you."

"Thank you, Micky" She replied and they hugged again.

Davy was still staring at Rachel open mouthed. He had to pinch himself just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Is that really Rachel Lockhart standing over there?" He asked Peter.

"Yes Davy it really is Rachel Lockhart" Peter told him, unable to hold in the chuckle that escaped his lips.

"I can't believe it. She looks so good, do you still have a crush on her?" Davy asked and Peter rolled his eyes.

"No I don't still have a crush on her. I barely know her anymore. Do you know that Nats thinks Micky is in love with her?" Peter asked.

"That's because he is" Davy said, matter-of-factly.

"What! How do you know that?" Peter asked, unable to hide the shock from his voice.

"He told me."

"When!"

"The night before he married Kathryn. Micky, Mike and myself had gone out and Micky confessed that he'd rather be marrying Rachel but since  
she was already married he had to settle for second best."

"He did not say that!"

"He did. He loved Kathryn but not half as much as he loves Rachel."

"I don't believe it! Why didn't he tell her?"

"Probably the same reason you didn't tell her thirty-five years ago, he was scared she wouldn't feel the same way, I guess, and he'd end up  
making a fool of himself."

"Are you telling me the truth?" Peter asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes I am I swear on Mike Nesmith, in fact you can ask him too, he'll tell ya."

"Yeah if he shows up that is!" Peter said.


	5. Chapter 5

Rachel and Micky had sat down and Micky was holding Rachel's hand.

"I'm so glad you cut off the awful ponytail," Rachel was telling him.

Micky grinned.

"You didn't like it huh?" He asked. Rachel shook her head.

"No sorry babe I really didn't, the amounts of times I almost called you just to yell at you to cut it off!" She told him. Micky's wild curls from the sixties had gone; instead he had straight slicked back hair, which was beginning to thin on top. Micky laughed.

"Well I would've done it years ago if I know you didn't like it" He told her "Anyway, come on, tell me everything. I want to know what you've been up to all these years. I heard you moved back to England."

"Yeah I did, not long after Robert died, I've got a great job and the greatest friends. Life is good."

"Great I'm so glad. What about relationships? Are you seeing any body back home?" Micky asked.

"No! I'm not seeing any one, I'm too old to date"

"Hey I'm older than you and I'm getting married!" Micky protested.

"Sorry honey. Anyway I don't really want to date, I had the love of my life and he was taken from me. I don't want James to feel as though I'm replacing Robert."

"You've said it yourself already, it was thirteen years ago. I'm sure James doesn't want you to be alone."

"I'm not alone. I have my friends and James and now I have you again. No matter how hard you try I'm not gonna let you get away from me again."

"You have nothing to worry about, I ain't going no place" Micky said. Rachel laughed.

"Thank you, anyway I doubt anyone would want to date an old thing like me" She replied.

"Are you crazy! A guy would be insane if he didn't want to be with someone as stunningly beautiful as you" Micky told her, caressing her  
cheek with the back of his hand.

"Yeah well you have to say that, you're the best friend, it's in your job description" Rachel told him, but Micky shook his head.

"I'm saying it because it's true, you're the most amazing woman I've ever known" Micky told her.

"Thank you again" She looked at him for a moment then said "How on earth did I manage to live the past fifteen years without you?" She asked.

They stared at each other for a few moments, Micky was still brushing his hand against her cheek and Rachel was enjoying the attention. She had missed Micky so much and was glad to be able to have him sit next to her again. Micky was so grateful that Rachel was there he had missed her and cursed himself almost everyday for being stupid enough to lose her. They were so wrapped up in there own little world that they didn't even notice the vicar approach him.

"Mr Dolenz, we are ready to begin, she has arrived" The middle aged man told Micky.

"Who has?" Micky asked. The vicar looked a little confused.

"Um...Miss Robinson, the bride!" He replied. Suddenly Micky remembered why he had been sitting in a church in the first place. He was about to get married! He quickly pulled his hand away from Rachel's face.

"Oh yeah right of course! Sorry please continue" Micky said. The vicar walked away casting Micky a troubled glance over his shoulder. Rachel stood up.

"Well I better go find Peter, I am his date after all," She said.

"I'm right behind you" Came Peter's voice. Rachel turned around, and he was indeed right behind her.

"So you are," She said. Peter and Rachel were about to walk away when a woman about the same age as Rachel came over to them. Rachel  
recognized her immediately as Lily Dolenz, Micky's sister.

"Mick, just a quick stop to wish you good luck."

"Thanks Lil" Micky said and kissed her on the cheek. Lily noticed Peter.

"Hi Pete who's this lovely...holy crap it's Rachel Lockhart!" She said in total shock. Rachel laughed.

"Hello Lily, it's good to see you," She said.

"You too Rachel, how are you? How's that son of yours?"

"We're all great thank you, James is here somewhere. Nats dragged him off somewhere."

"Those two are like peas in a pod aren't they" Lily said with a small laugh.

"They sure are, so how are you? Are your girls here?" Rachel asked.

"As much as I'd like to stand around and chat with you two I am about to get married you know!" Micky told them.

"Sorry Micky" Lily and Rachel said in unison.

"That's fine just go," Micky said with a grin.

The doors to the church opened and Denise Robinson appeared just in time to see Micky kiss a complete stranger and embrace her in a long hug before she hurried off with Peter and Lily to sit with Natalie and a young man she didn't recognize. That was not the way Denise had expected to start her wedding, by seeing her fiancé kiss some woman she'd never seen before in her life. She was about to start her walk down the aisle when someone rushed past her.

"Sorry Denise, I'm late" Denise recognised the woman as Jennifer Wyatt, Micky's first wife and mother of his daughter Natalie. Jennifer sat near the back so as to not to disturb anyone any further and Denise, at last, began her walk down the aisle.

When the music started everyone stood up and Rachel turned to see Micky's bride for the first time. She had never met Denise before but she already hated her. Denise was taller then Rachel and her blonde hair 'From a bottle!' Rachel sneered mentally, was pulled back into a tight French twist and a few wisps of hair hung lose, framing her face. She wasn't wearing a veil but a small tiara rested on her head. The dress was a simple white strapless cannon gown and was absolutely beautiful and, although Rachel hated herself to admit it, so was Denise. She had a very small resemblance to Jennifer when she was that age, which Rachel figured must be early to middle thirty's. Rachel could see why Micky had fallen for Denise, she was exactly his type and absolutely nothing like Rachel at all. Rachel felt a slight pang of jealously as Denise swept past her, which surprised her a little. She had been fine when Micky had married Jennifer and then Kathryn, so why did this one bother her so much? It's not like she had feelings for Micky...did she? She thought about this then shook her head, 'no of course not you're just jealous of her age that's all' she tried convincing herself, but herself wasn't convinced at all 'you do have feelings for him, you just won't admit it' the little voice in the back of her head told her. She tried not to listen to herself and was glad of the distraction when something moving in the back of the church caught her eye. She turned her head to see Michael Nesmith creep in and stand at the back. He looked straight at Rachel and seemed almost as surprised to see her there as she did him. Rachel nudged Peter in the ribs and when she had his attention, jerked her head in Mike's direction. Peter turned his head and almost yelped in shock when he saw his former band mate standing there. Peter knew Mike had been invited but never in a million years did he expect him to show up.


	6. Chapter 6

The ceremony was going well and as much as Rachel was finding it hard to watch, she couldn't help but feel extremely proud of Micky. She looked and saw Lily grinning from ear to ear as she watched her big brother get married. She looked at Natalie, who was trying her best to look happy but Rachel knew she wasn't. Then she realized Peter was glancing at her sideways trying not to make it obvious he was looking and she smiled a little and patted him on his knee, no matter what happened today she was grateful to have Peter back in her life and hopefully Davy too, if she could just find the time to talk to him!

She tried very hard to look back at Mike without making it obvious she was looking. He was still standing at the back, watching Micky and Denise. Gone was the thick ebony hair of his youth, instead it had been replaced with short salt and pepper hair and a beard to match. Rachel watched him for a moment wondering why he wouldn't sit down and she also wondered where Melanie was, Mike and Melanie had made such a great couple and Rachel hoped they hadn't split up, she made a mental note to quiz Peter on that later. She was drawn out of her thoughts when she heard the vicar speak the words she had been dreading the most and turned her head to look at him.

"If there is any persons here present who feel George and Denise should not be joined in holy matrimony speak now or forever hold your peace". Rachel bit her lip, an urge from deep within her to yell at them to stop crept into her head. She wanted to run up there and grab Micky and pull him away from Denise. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him...suddenly it hit her...she loved him! She realized for the first time she was in love with him, she had been for as long as she could remember and that thought scared her more then anything in the world. She turned to Peter who had noticed the complete panic on Rachel's face and was watching her with concern and worry on his face.

"Take my hands Pete because if you don't they're going to be in the air objecting to this marriage" She whispered. Peter stared at her for a second not really sure what to think, but did as she asked and took both her hands and gripped them tightly in his own. Natalie was staring at Rachel, slightly begging for Rachel to do something. She knew her dad was in love with Rachel and would do anything to be with her if he knew she felt the same way, but Rachel did nothing, except hold Peter's hands.

Time was going slow for Micky. This was another part about weddings that he hated, but he hated it for a different reason this time. He was silently debating with himself whether or not to stop the wedding. He loved Denise and he was honoured that she chose to be with him but out there in the congregation sat the love of his life. He had been in love with Rachel Lockhart since the very moment he met her and he had no idea what to do. He looked over at her and she was looking back at him, she looked as pained as he felt.

"Mick, honey? You okay?" The words filtered through his ears and he turned to the woman who spoke them. Denise was looking at him with worry on her face and fear in her eyes. "Micky?" She repeated. Micky looked back at Rachel silently begging her to tell him what to do, to give him any indication as to how she felt, but she wasn't even looking at him anymore. Instead she was staring at the floor gripping tightly on to Peter's hands. Micky let out a mental sigh and turned back to Denise.

"Sorry Denise" He glanced at Rachel again "Yeah I'm fine" He said turning back to Denise and holding her hand. "Looks like no one objects, father" He said, hoping the disappointment he felt didn't come over in his voice.

Rachel was staring at her shoes, wondering how this could have happened. How could she have been so stupid, why couldn't she have figured this out sooner, she was in love with Micky and didn't understand why it had taken her so long to admit it, but it was too late now he was marrying someone else. She could feel herself about to burst in to tears. She looked at Peter.

"I've gotta go Pete, I can't stay and watch this," She told him. Peter's features turned to concern.

"Rach, just wait a minute" Peter tried to say but it was no use Rachel had made up her mind. She stood up and walked out, hoping that nobody, especially Micky, had seen her leave. Unfortunately most of the congregation, including Micky, saw her go. Before Micky realized what he was doing he started running after Rachel.

"I'll be right back," He yelled over his shoulder to a stunned Denise, who could only stare, flabbergasted, at his back as he rushed up the aisle.

Rachel stopped outside the church. She slumped against the wall and collapsed into tears. How could she have let Micky go so easily? She didn't even put up a fight for him and she hated herself for it. If only she had got back in contact with him sooner, maybe things would've turned out differently, maybe she would be the one he was marrying today. That thought filled her heart with so much joy and so much sorrow all at the same time. There was nothing she wanted more then to be with Micky and to be able to call him her husband, but it was too late and she had lost him forever. She sobbed into her hands for a while then took a deep breath, wiped her tears away and stood up. She turned to the door and jumped back in shock. Micky was standing by the door watching her with concern on his face.

"Micky you scared me! What are you doing here you're supposed to be getting married, get back in there" She told him. Micky ignored her  
and walked over to her.

"My best friend runs out of my wedding and you expect me to carry on, I don't think so" He said putting his arms around her "You were crying" He said as he embraced her in a tight hug. Rachel closed her eyes trying to savour every moment she was in his arms.

"I was" She replied.

"You wanna tell me why?"

"Tears of joy" She said, knowing full well there was no way Micky would buy it, and she was right.

"Yeah right, they didn't look like tears of joy to me. You wanna try the truth this time? Come on Rach, you know you can tell me"

"I can't Mick. Not this time, not now"

"Of course you can" Micky said. Rachel sighed.

"No I really can't. It would do a lot of damage right now" She said. Micky pulled out of the hug a little and lifted her chin so he could look her in the eye, it was then he realised she was crying again.

"Please tell me Rach, it must be important. I don't want you to be unhappy" He said, wiping away some of her tears with his thumb and cupped his hand on her face.

"It's just a little hard that's all" Rachel told him.

"Nothing's hard around me, we've known each other forever" Micky told her. Rachel sighed again, Micky was being so persistent she couldn't even be bothered to argue with him any more.

"It is hard, it's hard because I love you," Rachel said not daring to look him in the eye. "I'm in love with you," she added

"You're in love with me?" Micky asked and Rachel nodded "How long?"

"I don't know, as long as I can remember"

"Oh Rachel, you have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that" Micky told her. Rachel looked up at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I feel the same way. I'm in love with you, I have been since the very moment I first saw you. Rachel, I love you" Micky said.

Rachel started crying again and this time it really was tears of joy.

"You love me?" She asked, Micky nodded and pushed some hair away from her face.

"I love you," He said. He leaned in and kissed her and then hugged.

"I love you so much" Rachel told him. They stood out side the church hugging for a few moments then Micky let go of her.

"I'll be back in a moment," He whispered and kissed her, he turned and started walking back to the church.

"Wait, where are you going?" Rachel called. Micky turned around.

"Back inside, I have to call off the wedding," He said a little confused as to why Rachel would ask such a thing.

"You can't" She replied. Micky stared at her dumbfounded.

"What do you mean I can't? I have to tell Denise I can't just leave half way through the wedding and not tell her."

"You're not leaving" Rachel told him. Micky walked over to her.

"You're not making any sense, my love, I don't understand."

"You have to marry Denise" Rachel said. Micky wanted to burst into laughter.

"Is this a joke!" he asked, but by the look on Rachel's face he knew it wasn't "It's not a joke is it?" He added quietly. Rachel shook her head.

"No it's not a joke, you can't call off the wedding it would break Denise's heart and I can't be responsible for that."

"But what about us? We love each other I want to be with you. I love you."

"I know, but it's not our time any more we've missed our chance. You have to be with Denise now. I know you love her," Rachel told him. Micky sighed and put his arms around her.

"I do love her but what I feel for her isn't a speck on what I feel for you you're the love of my life but" He let out a small sigh, closing his eyes "I know you're right, as much as it pains me to say it, I know you're right, we had thirty years to be together but we missed our chance."

"Maybe we will be together one day but now is not our time, do you understand?"

"Yeah I do" Micky sighed again "I guess I better go back inside then" He said.

"Yeah I guess you better had" Rachel replied.

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

"It's for the best" Rachel said, hoping she sounded more certain of that then she felt "You'll see" she added.

"Okay, here goes" Micky said he kissed Rachel one last time, took deep breath and walked over to the door, then turned back to Rachel "You coming?" He asked.

"No I don't think so, it would be a little strange, I think I'll just wait here for James and Peter," She told him. Micky merely nodded and took one last good long look at her before going back inside.


	7. Chapter 7

Denise was sitting in the front of the church with Davy. She had her head in her hands and Davy was sitting next to her. His arm around her offering comfort. Micky walked towards them and when Peter noticed he was alone he stood up to go in search of Rachel. Micky stopped him.

"It's okay Pete, she's fine just let her be for the moment okay" He said placing a hand on Peter's shoulder. Peter was obviously confused but he nodded and sat back down again. Micky walked over to Denise and could hear Davy whispering words of comfort to her.

"It's okay luv I'm sure he'll be back any moment, you've got nothing to worry about."

"I am worried Davy, he bolts in the middle of our wedding, what else am I suppose to do" Denise replied. Micky felt a pang of guilt spread through his body, he hadn't meant to hurt Denise but he needed to tell Rachel how he felt about her. Micky cleared his throat.

"Excuse me madam but aren't you suppose to be getting married today?" He said holding out his hand, trying to keep from his mind what he had just given up. Denise looked up.

"Mick, what is going on? Why did you run out like that?" She asked.

Davy was looking at Micky wanting to know the answer to that one himself.

"I'll explain later okay, let's get married now, if you'll still have me?" Micky said.

"Of course I will but you owe me a big explanation" Denise said, taking Micky's hand and standing up.

"I know."

"Who was that woman anyway, the one who left?" Denise asked.

"It was no-one, like I said, I'll explain everything later" He told her Denise nodded and they both walked forward "Sorry about that father, please continue" Micky told the Vicar. It was safe to say this was probably one of the most bizarre weddings the vicar had ever conducted.

Rachel was sitting outside on a wall, wondering if she had made the right decision. She knew she loved Micky and she knew she wanted to be with him, but there was no way she would be able to live with herself if she caused Denise to have a broken heart. If there was one thing Rachel Lockhart was not, it was a home wreaker. That thought made her giggle, "You make it sound so seedy" She thought to herself.

"I expect you're sitting out here wondering if you've made the right decision" Came the Texan drawl Rachel hadn't heard for so long. She shook her head then smiled slightly and let out a small laugh.

"Hello Michael" She said without looking up.

"Hello Rachel. How are you?" Mike asked as he came over and sat next to her.

"Well that's the sixty-five million dollar question isn't it. I would like to say I've hit rock bottom but, I think I've gone further then that, in fact I'm so far below rock bottom I can't even see it anymore."

"I'm sorry honey" Mike studied her for a moment and then spoke again "Look I know you and I have never seen eye to eye on a lot of things but I think you did the right thing just now."

"Oh you do, do you" Rachel said, finally looking at him "So tell me, who died and made you god of all decision making?" Mike sighed.

"I didn't come out here looking for a fight."

"Then why did you come out here? It's common knowledge you dislike me, you have done ever since you first met me."

"You're right I'm sorry," He said getting up and heading back to the church.

"Hang on a minute, how do you know I made the right decision? You don't even know the decision I made" Rachel said. Mike turned around.

"Okay, now don't get mad at me alright, but I kinda heard the whole thing. I was standing by the doorway when you ran out and when Micky ran out after you I had an idea what he would do so I..."

"So you decided to eavesdrop!"

"No, I wasn't going to say that, I was worried about you," He admitted. Rachel laughed.

"Yeah, good one, and I'm the queen of Sheba," She said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

"No it's true, you don't have to believe me but I never hated you Rachel, our personalities clashed that's all."

"That's what I said!"

"You did?" Mike looked at her, surprised.

"Not to you. It's what I told Peter yesterday. He asked me if I still hated you and I told him I never hated you we just clashed. Oh and there was that small incident of my son throwing up over you" Rachel told him.

"Yeah well I don't need reminding of that thank you very much. Mel thought it was hilarious, she never let me live it down" Mike said and Rachel laughed again, then she realized something.

"Where is Melanie anyway? I didn't see her arrive with you, you are still together aren't you?"

"Oh yeah of course, we're still together. She's in LA with me, we live back in Texas you see, but she didn't want to come to the wedding because she and Micky had a big argument and have refused to speak to each other ever since" Mike explained.

"What did they argue about?" Rachel asked, genuinely intrigued. Mike wasn't sure whether or not he should tell her at first but after thinking about it for a moment, decided to go for it.

"Well I guess you'll hear about it sooner or later. Mel tried to talk Micky out of marrying Denise," He said. Rachel's eyes widened.

"You're kidding! Did she really?" she asked and Mike nodded "Why?" she added. Mike looked at her.

"Mel thinks Denise is only marrying Micky for 'what' he is, not 'who' he is. She thinks Micky will lose everything to her" He replied. Rachel stared at him for a moment. Not really expecting that, for a moment she was worried Micky might have put himself in danger, but he was a grown man, and he knew what was best for him, as he had proven minutes before.

"Well, Mel always was a good judge of character" She replied "Even if she did marry you" She added with a grin, jabbing Mike with her elbow. Mike laughed. Despite the frosty air between her and Mike, seeing him again had made her realize she missed him more than she had let on.

"It's good to see you, Michael" She said, looking at him.

"You too, Rachel" He replied. They sat in silence for a moment before Rachel spoke up again.

"You really think I did the right thing by telling Micky we couldn't be together?"

"Yes I really do" Mike said. He paused and then said "So where do you go from here?" He asked. Rachel shrugged.

"I really have no idea. I'm not sure if I should stay here a while or go back home. I don't think I'll ever be able to look Micky in the eye again and there's no way I could face Denise."

"At least stay a few days. Mel and I aren't going back to Texas until the end of the week I know she'll love to see you, and Jennifer too."

"Oh jeez, I totally forgot about Jenny" She rubbed her temples "This day just keeps getting better and better!" she said. Mike watched her  
for a second.

"If I give you a hug, do you promise not to punch me?"

"Okay, but just a quick one, as long as you don't tell anyone about it" Rachel said. Mike laughed then embraced her in a comforting hug just as Peter and James walked out of the church.

"Whoa, have I walked into an alternate dimension or something?" Peter asked. Mike and Rachel stopped hugging and looked at Peter.

"Yeah, real funny Pete" Rachel said.

"Hello Pete" Mike said standing up and walking over to Peter.

"Hello Michael how are you?" Peter asked offering his hand, which Mike accepted, and they shook hands.

"I'm fine thank you, and you?"

"Yeah I'm good" Peter replied. James walked over to his mother, carefully avoiding eye contact with Mike, who was still sitting on the wall.

"Hi Mum, are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes sweetheart I'm okay, is the wedding over?" She asked.

"Almost. Micky and Denise are just signing the register but Peter and I slipped out to find you," He told her "Why did you run out Mum?" James asked. Rachel looked at her son.

"It's a long story honey, I'll explain it to you one day." She said.

"Okay, I was worried about you."

"You don't need to worry I'm fine."

"Okay, oh look everyone's coming out" James said pointing. Rachel looked and saw people filling out of the church. She saw Micky and Denise appear smiling and laughing as the people around them threw confetti and rice. Rachel felt a small pang in her chest when she saw them. Micky noticed her and smiled slightly and gave her an `are you okay?' look, Rachel nodded and retuned the smile, wanting to break down in tears but keeping a smile on her face for James' sake. Everyone headed off to the reception. It took a lot of persuading by Mike, Peter, and James to finally get Rachel to agree to go. When they arrived Rachel hadn't been there more then five minutes when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see a tall red headed woman standing in front of her, she smiled.

"Hello Jenny" She said.


	8. Chapter 8

Rachel and Jennifer looked at each other for a moment, both women a little nervous-Jennifer more so.

"Hello Rachel" she said. She wasn't sure what to say next, she was sure Rachel would still be mad at her, so she was a little surprised when Rachel reached forward and embraced her in a hug.

"How have you been?" Rachel asked.

"I've been okay, and you?" She replied.

"Yeah I guess" Rachel said.

"Rach, I'm so sorry for everything can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course I can! There's nothing to forgive, we were both stubborn and stupid. We were both to blame".

"No, it was me. I was stupid I gave up on a great friendship because I couldn't accept I was wrong," Jennifer told her.

"It's okay Jenny I understand. You were going through a rough period."

"I should've listened to you, if I had maybe I could've saved my marriage."

"There's not a lot we can do about that now, I'll admit it still angers me a little but I've learnt a lesson today and that is, if you don't seize the moment you will come to regret it later. We've lost twenty seven years of friendship Jenny, lets not lose anymore okay?" Rachel said.

"Yes I agree, I've missed you Rach, you were always my best friend."

"I missed you, too" They broke apart "Come on let's go and get a drink, I don't know about you but I need one."

"Yeah, me too" Jennifer replied, she slipped her arm through Rachel's and the two women headed for the bar.

Later that night after a few too many glasses of wine, Jennifer and Rachel were rather giggly.

"I'll be back in a minute Rach, I need to visit the ladies room" Jennifer said as she tried to get up and then stumbled, rather then walked, to the bathroom. Micky noticed Rachel sitting alone and wandered over to her.

"Hi, having a good time?" He asked.

"Yes, thank you. I'm having the time of my life" Rachel replied. "Where's your lovely bride?"

"I dunno, mingling I suppose."

"Oh good that's what you should be doing."

"I am...are you drunk!" Micky exclaimed.

"No! I'm offended Micky. You know me better then that, I never drink!" Rachel replied, almost falling off her chair. Micky managed to catch her.

"Yeah right! So er I see you made up with Jenny then."

"Micky, I don't want to be rude but I really don't want to talk to you right now" Rachel said, trying to stand.

"Well I really think we need to," Micky told her.

"No thank you" Rachel replied.

"No thank you!" Micky repeated, a little stunned.

"I have nothing to say to you right now, you should be with your bride it is your wedding day after all" She said, managing to stand and stumbled away. She didn't get very far, she suddenly felt extremely light headed. "Micky" She called before she fell to the ground. Micky rushed over to her and dropped down next to her.

"Rach! Rachel!" He yelled. He didn't know what to do at first. Mike had been standing close by and had heard Rachel call Micky, and then when he heard the panicked way Micky called her name he turned around and saw she had collapsed to the ground. He rushed over.

"What happened?" He asked Micky.

"I...I dunno she just fell" Micky said. Mike checked her breathing and pulse.

"Its ok Mick she's just passed out. We need to get her home."

"Right okay let's do that" Micky said, carefully sitting Rachel up.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Mike asked him. Micky looked at him like he was a crazy person.

"Taking Rachel home, you just said to."

"I didn't mean you! It's your wedding Mick you can't leave you have to stay here," Mike told him. Micky stared at him.

"Yeah...right of course, sorry" He said.

"Go find Peter and James, we'll take her" Mike said.

"I want to stay."

"Please, Micky, just go and find them" Reluctantly, Micky stood up and rushed off in search of Peter and James. By this time a small crowd had gathered around Rachel so it wasn't difficult to find Peter and James because they were already headed over towards the crowd, wondering what was going on.

"Hi Mick, what's happening over there?" Peter said pointing at the crowd.

"It's Rachel" Micky said.

"What! What happened? Is she okay?" James asked.

"She's passed out, she's had a lot to drink and she collapsed, Mike's with her. He says she's gonna be fine but we need to get her home Pete."

"Right sure" Peter said. The three of them went over to the crowd and pushed their way through.

"Oh good Pete, there you are come on we need to get Rachel home" Mike said when he saw them.

Micky watched as Peter, Mike and James carefully carried Rachel outside and placed her in the car. Mike sat in the back with her and James sat up front with Peter. Denise came over to Micky.

"Hi honey, what was all that about?" She asked.

"Rachel passed out" Micky replied, not taking his eyes off the car as Peter turned it around and steered it down the road.

"Rachel? You mean that was the famous Rachel Lockhart?" She asked.

"Yep that was her."

"Oh for a moment I thought something terrible had happened" Denise said as she turned and walked away. Micky stared at her unable to  
believe what she had just said.

Peter, Mike, James and Rachel arrived home. Peter carefully carried Rachel upstairs while James and Mike stayed downstairs.

"Is my mum going to be okay, Mr Nesmith?" James asked, nervously wringing his hands.

"Please call me Mike. Yeah she'll be fine I think she just needs to sleep it off, she'll have a bit of a headache in the morning but apart from that she'll be okay you've got nothin' to worry about" Peter came in to the living room.

"How is she?" James asked

"She's asleep, she woke up briefly but she's gone back to sleep, we'll see how she is in the morning" Peter told them.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning Rachel woke up at half past eleven. She had a throbbing in her head and felt extremely ill. She groaned and opened her eyes, but quickly closed them again when they were greeted by sunlight. She brought her hand up and rubbed her eyes.

"Morning sleepy head" Came Peter's voice. She opened her eyes slightly and saw him standing by the door "How are you feeling this morning?" He asked, coming over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Like crap" Rachel replied bluntly which made Peter laugh a little "Exactly how much did I have to drink last night?" She replied.

"Well let's just say the bar was pretty much empty after we left."

"Oh man" She shook her head, and then decided that probably wasn't a very good idea when it sent pain through it "Is James up."

"Yeah, he's been up since the crack of dawn, he's out with Natalie, they're both pretty worried about you, we all were. You've never been a big drinker Rach what on earth were you thinking?" Peter asked.

Suddenly the events of the wedding came flooding back to Rachel and she remembered what had happened.

"I don't want to talk to about it," She said quietly. Peter looked at her, as tears started to shine in her eyes.

"Okay, you don't have to, but if you decide you do want to then I'm here" He told her. All of a sudden Rachel burst into tears "Hey, what's all this?" Peter asked, sitting next to her and pulling her into a tight hug.

"I'm in love with him, Peter. I've been in love with him for thirty years" Rachel said. She didn't say his name but Peter knew she was talking about Micky.

"Oh Rach" He said.

"I told him when I ran out of the wedding and he came after me. I told him I was in love with him, he told me he was in love with me too and he kissed me."

"So what happened?"

"I sent him away. He was all ready to call off the wedding so we could be together but I told him no, I made him go back inside and marry her because I felt guilty. I already hate her, I mean I've never met her and I hate her but I can't be the cause of her pain." Rachel explained.

"No, just yours" Peter told her "Rach, Denise is a friend of mine, I've come to know her very well... but I have to admit Micky is nowhere near as happy with her as he was when he had you in his life" He said. Rachel looked up at him.

"Is this suppose to be making me feel better, because it's really not" She told him.

"Sorry".

"Do you think I made the right decision by telling him we couldn't be together?" She asked. Peter thought about it for a moment.

"On paper yes, you did the right thing. From Denise's point of view, yes you did the right thing, and I shouldn't say this because Denise is my friend, but no, I don't think you did the right thing" Peter told her, Rachel started to sob again.

"No neither do I" She replied, "I made a big mistake Pete and I've lost him again. I've spent my whole life losing him and I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Don't think like that, of course you can" Peter told her.

"What am I going to do Pete? I've really messed up," Rachel said.

"Well for a start you're gonna stay here with me for as long as you need. I don't want you going back to London like this."

"I can't I haven't got any clothes, plus I've got a job to go to and James is at university" Rachel protested.

"That doesn't matter, is there anyone in London who has a key to your flat?"

"Yeah a couple of friends do in case of emergencies."

"Well I think this is an emergency, so call one of them up tell them to throw as much clothing as possible into a bag and I'll arrange to have them picked up, do the same with James' things" Peter instructed.

"What about my job? I'll get fired."

"How long have you worked there?"

"Eleven years."

"Well it's about time you had a long vacation, I'm sure they'll allow it Rachel, just tell them an emergency came up and you to take some leave. You've been loyal to them for eleven years, it's about time they repaid the favour."

"I'm not sure, I mean how long are you thinking of?"

"As long as you need. but tell them a month for now."

"A month! Peter I couldn't I'd be in the way, James too."

"Nonsense! My kids moved out ages ago and I'm in this big house all by myself. You'd be doing me a favour I could use the company. I want you to stay, Rachel" Peter told her and Rachel smiled.

"Well I'll have to talk to James first but I'm pretty sure I'll know his answer. Thank you Peter you're a great friend".

"Yeah, I know" Peter replied with a grin "Stay in bed for a while okay, get some rest" he said.

"Yes doctor Tork" Rachel said, saluting.

"Actually those are Doctor Nesmiths orders. You know for a guy who's an alcoholic I've never had to take care of hung over teenagers, I guess my kids saw what happened to their dad and stayed away from booze, or they were just really good at hiding it" Peter said and Rachel laughed.

"So Mike was here huh?"

"He helped James and I bring you home and told us what to do when you woke up. Get some rest I'll tell James to come see you when he gets back."

"Thanks Pete" Rachel said

"Sleep okay, I'll see you later" Peter told her, he kissed her forehead then left.


	10. Chapter 10

Later that day James returned with Natalie. Peter was in his study going over some business when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in" Peter called. The door opened slightly and James peered in.

"Sorry to disturb you, Peter" He said, not really sure how to act. Peter was almost a complete stranger to him but he felt as though he could talk to him about anything.

"Not at all James, please come in take a seat" Peter told him, indicating one of the chairs in front of his large mahogany desk. James couldn't help but feel like a schoolboy who had been summoned to the headmaster's office, even though he was there voluntarily.

James entered and it was then Peter realised Natalie was with him and he smiled slightly. The friendship those two had reminded him of Micky and Rachel so much "Hello Natalie, how are you today?" Peter asked. A warm smile covered his face as he looked at them both.

"I'm great thanks, uncle Peter, you?" Natalie asked.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you. Did your father leave for his honeymoon yet?"

"No, not until tomorrow" Natalie informed him. James and Natalie sat down. James had noticed a change in Peter, before when they were chatting in the lounge or kitchen Peter had been very relaxed and informal, but sitting in his study James noticed he became more professional and business like.

"So what can I do for you kids?" Peter asked, leaning back in his leather chair.

"I just wondered if my mother had woken up yet, if you'd had a chance to talk to her?" James asked nervously.

"Yes James she woke up a few hours ago, you can stop worrying she's fine, she's just got one hell of a headache" Peter told him.

"Oh that's a relief," James said, relaxing slightly.

"Did she give any indication as to why she left halfway through the wedding yesterday?" Natalie asked. Peter knew this question was coming but he wasn't sure how to answer it so, against his better judgement, he lied.

"No. I'm afraid she didn't. She was pretty anxious to get back to sleep although she does want to talk to you James, she has something important to discuss with you" Peter told him, which worried James again.

"She does? Any idea what about?" He asked. Peter smiled again.

"Yes, but go and talk to her, Natalie and I will get lunch started. I assume you'll be staying Nats?" Peter asked.

"Only if you don't mindm uncle Peter" Natalie said.

"No of course not, come on let's go and see what we can find in the fridge," Peter said as he stood up, motioned Natalie to do the same then allowed her to lead the way out the door. He turned back to James, who was still sitting in his chair "Well what are you waiting for?" Peter said and motioned James out the door.

James walked upstairs and knocked on his mother's door, hoping she was already awake because he would feel guilty about waking her up.

"Come in" Came Rachel's voice. James opened the door. "Hi sweetheart, how are you?" Rachel asked when she saw her son in the doorway.

"I'm fine, how do you feel?"

"Tired, embarrassed, stupid" Rachel replied.

"You don't need to feel embarrassed Mum, everyone drinks too much once in a while" James told her.

"Oh yeah and when did you drink too much?" Rachel asked eyeing her son suspiciously.

"OhumIumnever mind. Any way Peter says you want to talk to me" James said desperately trying to change the subject, which made  
Rachel laugh.

"Yes I do, come and sit down" She said patting her bed, so James came over and sat down "I've had a chat with Peter and he's offered to let  
us stay with him for a while" Rachel explained.

"He has? How long is a while?"

"About a month to start with".

"To start with!" James repeated and Rachel nodded.

"Uh-huh, so what do you think? Could you stay here that long?"

"Are you kidding! I could stay here forever. I love it, Mum, and I like Peter too. I would love to stay" James told her and Rachel grinned.

"That's great, of course it does mean you'd have to miss some university."

"That's okay, I can catch up."

"So we're staying then?"

"Yep we're staying" James said "Nats is downstairs she's been worried about you" He added.

"She doesn't need to worry, I'm fine. I'll come down later, I'm getting bored of looking at these walls I need a change of scenery" Rachel said.

"Mum, I love you" James said. Rachel smiled.

"Thank you sweetheart, I love you too" She replied.

It was getting late into the evening and Rachel had migrated downstairs and was in the living room with Peter. James and Natalie had gone out yet again and Peter and Rachel were going over their plans for the coming month.

"I made arrangements for your luggage to be picked up it should be here in the next couple of days" Peter was telling her.

"Oh good. I called work, they're allowing me the time off, I told them it was a family emergency and I think they bought it. So everything's cool back home."

"Excellent so now you don't have to worry about anything just sit back and relax" Peter told her, patting her knee. Rachel smiled weakly. If only that were true but there was something that was worrying her and no matter how hard she tried not to think about it, the thought of Micky and what she had given up was always on her mind.


	11. Chapter 11

Peter and Rachel were still sitting in the lounge an hour later when the front door opened and a familiar English voice with a blend of American called out.

"Hello? Pete, are you here?" Peter smiled.

"In here Davy" Peter replied. Davy appeared at the lounge door.

"There she is, my favourite girl," He said. Rachel was grinning from ear to ear she stood up and walked over to Davy.

"Hello Davy, how are you?" She asked.

"Better now you're back where you belong" Davy replied and the two of them embraced in a hug "I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk yesterday."

"Me too, but you were best man, so you had a lot to do" Rachel told him. Davy pulled out of the hug a little to look at her.

"Wow, you're even more beautiful then I remember," He said and Rachel chuckled.

"Same old Davy" She said and Davy grinned.

"Well I'm a charmer, what can I tell ya" He said and Rachel laughed, "Anyway how are you? Are you okay? You gave us quite a scare yesterday."

"Yeah I'm fine, just went a little mad with the alcohol is all, oh my god Jenny! I totally forgot! She was in the bathroom when I...well  
when I...I..."

"It's okay, Rach, she's fine, Micky told her what happened to you, she called earlier to see if you were okay" Peter informed her.

"Oh that's good, I'll have to call her back later" Rachel replied then motioned Davy to sit down, which he did. He sat in the armchair opposite the sofa where Rachel went and rejoined Peter.

"Can I get you a coffee Davy?" Peter asked.

"No thanks, Pete, I had a couple round Micky's, if I have anymore I'll be as high as a kite."

"You never could handle your caffeine could you" Peter said with a small laugh.

"You've been round Micky's?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, he called and asked me to go round otherwise I would've been here sooner" Davy replied.

"How is he?" Rachel asked.

"He's good, worried about you but other than that, good. He's excited about tomorrow he can't wait to whisk Denise away on honeymoon so they can spent some quality time together as husband and wife" Davy told them.

"Oh" Rachel replied, hoping Davy didn't hear how disappointed she sounded. Peter put a reassuring hand on her knee to offer her comfort. Davy looked at them questionably.

"Am I missing something here?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No nothing" Rachel said quickly "So how's Lindsay?" She asked trying desperately to change the subject.

"She lives in New York with her personal trainer. She ran off with him seven years ago" Davy told her.

"Oh! My god, I had no idea, Davy, I'm so sorry" Rachel said genuinely shocked. Davy and Lindsay had always seemed so happy and in love.

"Don't be, I'm not," Davy told her "The marriage was over a long time before that, we just didn't want to admit it. It's really no problem she's happy and so am I, we're still very good friends and plus my kids opted to stay with me, that was all that I worried about, losing my kids you know, but luckily I didn't".

"Good I'm pleased for you?" Rachel said, not meaning to turn it into a question but with no idea really of what to say. "How are you're kids anyway?"

"They're great. Kaye got married eighteen months ago and is expecting my first grandchild in five months" Davy said beaming with pride "Isabelle started medical school in September and Jacob is in his second year of high school, he wants to follow in his old man's footsteps when he graduates, he's the front man in a band" Davy told her. Rachel could tell that Davy was extremely proud of each one of his children.

"That's wonderful, congratulations on becoming a grandfather, are you the first Monkee grandfather?" Rachel asked.

"No, Mike and Mel's oldest son has two kids" Peter told her.

"Really? Wow I've got a lot of new people to meet haven't I" Rachel said.

"Anyway, let's get back to the subject of Micky" Davy said and Rachel flinched, she was sure she had sidestepped that subject "Come on I wanna know what's going on between the two of you, have you fallen out or something? Davy asked and Rachel managed a small laugh.

"Oh god no, of course not. Just the opposite actually" She said. Davy stared at her for a moment trying to work out what she meant by that.

"The opposite?" He questioned, looking at Peter for any clues "What's the opposite of falling out?" He asked himself mentally "Falling in I suppose, but falling in what?" He mused about this until suddenly it hit him and he gasped. "Oh my god! You guys are in love aren't you!" He said.

"Well of course Micky's in love, he got married yesterday didn't he!" Peter said, hoping to get Davy off the trail but Davy shook his head.

"No no no. That's not what I meant" He looked at Rachel "You're in love with Micky aren't you?" He asked. Rachel looked at Peter but Peter just shrugged. So Rachel nodded.

"Yes Davy I am" She told him.

"And Micky's in love with you?" Davy asked, although he didn't know why he was asking because he already knew the answer. Rachel burst into tears and nodded again.

"Oh sweetheart" Peter said pulling her into a hug and shooting Davy a `look what you've done now!' glare.

"I'm sorry, Rach, I didn't mean to... well um I mean...I... I'm sorry" Davy said, moving from his chair and sitting next to Rachel and rubbed her back for extra comfort.

"You know yesterday at the wedding when Rachel left, and Micky went after her?" Peter asked and Davy nodded.

"That's when they told each other?" Davy asked.

"Yeah" Peter replied.

"Oh Rach" Davy said, feeling so much sympathy for her. He knew Micky had been in love with Rachel for a long time but he had no idea she felt the same way. At the same time he couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable. Rachel and Micky had been very good friends of his for a very long time and nothing would make him happier then to see them together but Micky was married now and he seemed very happy. He hated to see Rachel so upset and he wished he could do something about it. Suddenly he had an idea and he jumped up "Come on guys, let's go" He said.

"Go where?" Peter asked.

"I'm taking you out for dinner my treat, Rach go get changed".

"Davy no I really don't feel..." Rachel tried to say but Davy cut in.

"Tough, come on I'm not gonna take no for an answer" He told her.

"What about James?"

"Leave him a note" Davy said.

"Yeah come on Rachel, Davy's tight he never offers to pay for anything, let alone dinner," Peter told her.

"Watch it Tork or you'll be paying for your own meal" Davy said then looked at Rachel "You coming or not?" he asked and Rachel smiled.

"Yeah, I'm coming, thank you Davy. I'll just go put on something a little more going-out-to-dinner if I've got anything!" She said and stood up and went upstairs. Davy looked at Peter.

"You think she's gonna be okay?" He asked and Peter shrugged.

"I'm not sure, I hope so. We'll just have to wait and see I suppose".

"Yeah I guess you're right, well go on go get changed as well I'm not being seen out in public with you looking like that" Davy teased. Peter went to get changed while Davy called the restaurant to make a reservation then called Mike and Melanie to ask them to join them for dinner, and they accepted.

Peter drove them to the restaurant Davy had chosen. Mike and Melanie arranged to meet them there. The five of them sat down to dinner, Melanie and Rachel sat together so they could catch up. Rachel had such a great time. It was so great to be in the company of all her old friends, well almost all her old friends, and she actually forgot how miserable she was, until she got home that is. Peter had invited everyone back to his place for a drink and when they arrived there was a message waiting on his answering machine. He clicked it to play and recognised the voice immediately, it was Micky.

"Hi guys it's me, man I hate these machines. Um I came by to see you earlier but I guess you'd gone out, I really do hate these machines. Um well I'm off on honeymoon tomorrow I'll be gone for two weeks so I'll see you when I get back. I hope you'll still be around Rach, see you soon" Then the line went dead. Peter looked at Rachel, who was staring at the machine. Melanie looked at Mike questionably.

"I'll tell you later" He whispered to his wife.

"So, who wants a drink?" Peter asked, trying to move things along. Rachel smiled and tried her best to look happy but it was a little difficult for her to keep her thoughts off Micky. She wondered what he was doing right then and if he was thinking about her too. She hated the decision that she had made but it was done now and there was nothing she could do about it and she had to get on with her life, which was proving difficult, Just twenty four hours after the wedding she was having trouble moving on. She looked at all her friends around her and was grateful for their company right now.


	12. Chapter 12

Two weeks went by and Rachel, Peter and Davy had spent almost every day together, getting to know each other again and reminiscing about life in the sixties the last time they had all been together. Rachel was starting to feel a lot better, she was so glad to be around the friends she loved so much. Mike and Melanie had returned to Texas a few days after the wedding, but Rachel spoke to them on the phone. Melanie had promised that she and Mike would come back to LA when Rachel was ready to go back to England so they could say goodbye in person. Mike and Rachel's relationship had gotten better, they weren't the best of friends but they didn't seem to clash as much anymore. Rachel figured this probably had something to do with getting older, they were both a lot wiser than they used to be and learned to tolerate each other's point of view, rather then jump straight into an argument like they used to. Rachel had also been spending more and more time with Jennifer. Things had been a little awkward between them at first but once they were comfortable with each other again, things were pretty much back to normal between them. Peter and Davy had introduced Rachel and James to their kids and they all got on brilliantly. As for Micky, Rachel hadn't heard from him at all, which was understandable considering he was on his honeymoon. Rachel thought about him constantly, but was beginning to come to terms with her decision, it was for the best no matter how she tried to analyse it. Peter had kept his promise and was teaching James how to play the guitar and it was during a lesson one day that Peter got an unexpected visitor. The front doorbell rang and Peter went to answer it.

"Keep working on those scales I'll be back in a sec" He told James then went and opened the door "Micky! What are you doing here? When did you get back?" He asked

"Nice to see you too, Pete" Micky said smiling slightly "We got back yesterday, is Rachel still here?"

"Yeah she's still here."

"Great, can I see her?"

"She's not in at the moment, she's out with Davy, she offered to help chaperone Jacobs school trip" Peter explained.

"Oh I see, any idea when she'll be back?" Micky asked.

"When schools out I guess. Do you wanna come in and wait? You're quite welcome to."

"No thanks, Pete, I better not. I told Denise I wouldn't be long. Tell Rachel I called round and I'll catch her another time, okay?" Micky said.

"Yeah sure thing Mick, see you later" Peter said and Micky left.

When Rachel got back Peter told her Micky was back and had been round to see her. Her first instinct was to call him but she didn't want Denise to answer the phone. She thought about going round but that would mean coming face to face with Denise and that was definitely the last thing she wanted.

"What should I do, Peter?" She asked later that night.

"What do you want to do?" He asked.

"You always do that, answer my question with a question. Can't you just tell me what to do" Rachel and Peter smiled.

"If I had the answer sweetheart then I'd tell you but I don't. This is something you need to figure out on your own."

"But I can't."

"Rach honey, stop acting like a child. I know the last thing you want is to lose Micky again but if you carry on like this that is exactly what will happen. He married Denise, you told him to-it's done so get over it. I don't mean any disrespect and I'm not trying to upset you here I love you, but you really need to get over this" Peter told her. Rachel looked at him, not sure how to respond. She had never heard Peter be so blunt before but his words had done there job and she realised he was right.

"Yeah I know, okay I'll call him," She said finally.

"Good, his number's in the address book next to the phone."

Rachel started to walk over to the phone, then turned back around again. "Peter?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks" She said. Peter smiled.

"You're welcome" He replied. She walked over to the phone and picked up the book and flipped to D and found Micky's name. She tried to ignore the pang that filled hers stomach when she noticed Peter had already changed to read `Micky and Denise Dolenz'. She picked up the phone and began to dial. It took four attempts of picking up the phone, starting to dial, putting the phone back down and staring at it again and then picking it back up before she managed to dial the whole number. When she finally managed it, it connected and started to ring. It felt like forever before someone answered. The voice was female.

"Hello?"

"Hi, may I speak to Micky please?" Rachel asked.

"Who's calling please?"

"Rachel Lockhart".

"Oh" Came the reply then a slight pause "Hello Rachel, this is Denise" She said. Rachel sucked in a breath, she had a feeling it would be but really didn't want it to be confirmed.

"Hi Denise, how are you?"

"I'm fine I'll just go get Micky" Denise said. Rachel couldn't help but feel as though she had been met with a hostile reaction from Denise when she revealed who she was, but wasn't sure if she was just imagining it of not.

"Thank you" She replied. Rachel started to feel very nervous and got the sudden urge to hang up the phone, but before she got up the nerve Micky was there.

"Hi Rach, I'm so glad you called."

"Peter told me you dropped by to see me, so I had to check in with you. How was your honeymoon?"

"Oh you know, hot. I've got a tan," Micky told her which made Rachel laugh.

"You've got a tan? Now this I've gotta see. You know, for someone who's lived in California most of his life I don't think I've ever seen you with a tan. Are you brown or bright red?"

"Depends on where you look" Micky replied with a grin. "Listen, why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow night then I can show you" Micky told her.

"Oh...um...I dunno, I'm not sure that's a very good idea" Rachel replied.

"Of course it is, bring Peter and James as well," Micky said.

"Mick, under the circumstances I really don't think it would be appropriate."

"Please Rach, come on we're still friends aren't we? I'd really like to see you" Micky said. Rachel paused for a moment as she thought about it.

"Okay. I'll bring Peter and James too."

"Excellent, I'll call Davy and invite him as well. It'll be great for us all to be together, it's a shame Mike and Mel are back in Texas" Micky said.

"Oh yeah, have you two made up yet?" Rachel asked.

"Who two?"

"You and Melanie."

"Oh you heard about that did ya, no not really. I haven't spoken to her since the argument" Micky explained.

"Maybe you should call her, you of all people should know the consequences of not calling someone, it was a minor argument Mick don't let it ruin your friendship."

"She really made me mad! She had no right to say those things. It really hurt me."

"I know, but you shouldn't be telling me, tell Mel. Look I'll get off the phone so you can call her now okay?"

"I forgot how bossy you can be," Micky said.

"I'm not bossy I'm just enthusiastic."

"Yeah right. You call it enthusiastic, I call it bossy" Micky told her and Rachel grinned.

"I missed you, Dolenz" She said softly. Forgetting herself for a moment.

"Yeah well, with a face like this, how could you not?" Came Micky's response. His reply was quiet. Rachel had a feeling he was being watched like a hawk and perhaps couldn't respond in the way he would want. She laughed at the reply anyway, shaking her head.

"Just hang up the damn phone, Dolenz, okay," She told him and it was Micky's turn to laugh now.

"Yes ma'am, okay, you've convinced me I'll call Mel."

"Good, well I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"You bet, see you tomorrow, bye Rach". They both hung up the phone and Rachel turned around and jumped back a little with shock when she  
saw Peter standing behind her.

"Sorry I didn't mean to startle you, how did it go?"

"Okay, I guess, we're going over to dinner for dinner tomorrow night."

"We?" Peter repeated.

"Yes you, me and James, maybe Davy too."

"Oh, that's cool" Peter said. Rachel's mouth dropped open.

"Cool! You think it's cool! This is the worst thing in the entire universe. I can't go over there for dinner, you must be joking!" Rachel almost yelled. Peter smiled and rolled his eyes he turned around and started to walk away from her "Hey, where are you going?" She asked. Peter turned back round to face her.

"I'm not going through all this with you again, you really need to get over this Rach, okay" He told her, and then disappeared into his studio.

"Yeah thanks Peter" Rachel called.

Davy called later that night to tell them he would be joining them at the Dolenz's for dinner and they made arrangements to all go together. Rachel told James of their plans for the next evening but James informed his mother that he already knew because he had been with Natalie when Micky called to invite her too. Rachel thought about calling Micky back to see how things went with Melanie but she couldn't stomach talking to Denise again, she needed to keep all her nerve for when they came face to face to the next evening.


	13. Chapter 13

Davy arrived at half past six the next evening. They weren't due at Micky and Denise's until half past seven, but Peter had invited Davy round for a drink first. Davy came in the front door.

"Hi guys" He called. Rachel appeared from the lounge.

"Hi Davy, come on in" She said.

"Thanks Rach, you look smashing this evening" He said and gave Rachel a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you Davy, so do you" She replied. Rachel had agonized practically all day over what to wear. She wanted to look nice but not go too over the top so she'd opted for a simple trouser suit and left her hair down and light make-up.

"You ready for the big meeting?" Davy asked.

"No not really but it had to happen sooner or later I suppose" Rachel replied, then she walked over to the stairs "Pete, Davy's here" She called.

"Okay thanks Rach, I'll be down in a sec" Came Peter's reply.

"Where's James then?" Davy asked.

"Already over there, Nats came and picked him up in a taxi about fifteen minutes ago" Rachel explained.

"It's gonna be hard for those two when you and James go back to England, they've been joined at the hip ever since you arrived" Davy said and Rachel laughed.

"I know, I'm glad they have a good relationship," She said. Davy looked at her for a moment then said.

"Rach, here's a wacky thought, why don't you stay? You could marry Peter I'm sure he wouldn't mind" Rachel laughed again.

"You think so huh? Well maybe I'll give it some thought," She said and Davy grinned.

"Okay, so maybe not marry Peter, marry me" Davy grinned again "No seriously now, stay Rach it's been so great having you around these past few weeks it will be weird without you" He told her.

"Davy, I can't. I've got a life in England, my job is there, my friends are there and James is in university I can't just leave."

"Of course you can, we're your friends too, you can get a new job and James could transfer schools there's nothing stopping you."

"What about a place to live?" Rachel countered.

"What do you mean? You've already got a place to live" Peter said, as he appeared at the door "You can live here with me, I think Davy's idea is brilliant".

"See" Davy said, pointing to Peter.

"Well at least think about it, talk it over with James see what he thinks" Peter told her.

"Please Rachel" Davy added and Rachel sighed.

"Alright, I'll think about it, but that's all I'm doing, thinking about it. So don't get your hopes up, okay?" Rachel said.

"Okay" Peter replied.

"Yeah okay" Davy said.

"So" Peter said clapping his hands together "What can I get you to drink, Davy?" He asked.

When they finally left, Peter drove them in his car. Rachel sat in the back and Davy sat up front. Rachel had chosen to sit in the back by herself, she wanted to think some stuff through and she knew she wouldn't be able to do that if she sat up front because Peter liked to chat while he drove so, if she sat in back Peter could chat to Davy and she wouldn't feel obligated to join in. As they drove, Rachel didn't feel nervous, just plain terrified. She had no idea how she was going to make it through the evening and was already looking forward to leaving, even though they hadn't actually arrived yet. They drove for about fifteen minutes, and then Peter pulled in to the driveway of a beautiful maisonette. Rachel was a little surprised, she had expected something a lot bigger. It had a front garden and a gravel driveway and path leading to the front door. The gravel crunched beneath the car as Peter drove up it and the noise must've alerted the people inside because the front door opened and Micky and Denise appeared, arms around each other's waist. Denise was forcing a polite smile but Micky had the biggest goofiest grin on his face. Peter shut off the engine and turned and looked at Rachel.

"Ready sweetheart?" He asked. Rachel took a deep breath and nodded.

"Ready" She replied. The three of them stepped out of the car. Peter locked it and put a supportive arm around Rachel. They walked forward a little and Rachel and Denise came face to face for the first time.


	14. Chapter 14

"Hi guys" Micky called, letting go of Denise and racing forward to greet his friends. Denise walked over to Rachel, while Micky said hello to Davy and Peter.

"You must be Rachel, it's nice to meet you, Micky talks about you all the time" She said, the speech sounded rehearsed to Rachel but she ignored it.

"Yeah well I wouldn't listen to anything he says he's been known to lie," She said, and Denise just smiled slightly.

"I can hear you, Lockhart" Micky said.

"Oh yeah and what are you gonna do about it!" Rachel teased.

"Well first I'm gonna hug you, then I'm gonna tickle you to death" Micky told her.

"Okay, the hugging I can handle but you even try and tickle me then there'll be trouble" Rachel said, Micky laughed and pulled Rachel into a hug.

"I've missed you so much" He whispered into her ear.

"I've missed you too," She replied. They let go of each other.

"Well I suppose we should go inside, your son is here Rachel, he's an interesting young man isn't he" Denise said.

"Yeah he takes after his father" Rachel said with a chuckle.

"Oh yes, Ronald wasn't it?" Denise asked.

"Robert" Rachel corrected.

"Whatever, and he's dead now right?" Denise said. Peter had taken hold of Rachel's hand, which she saw as a blessing because otherwise she would've used it to punch Denise hard in the face.

"Yes, he passed away" She said through gritted teeth. Micky shot her an apologetic look but she didn't take much notice, she was too busy picturing Denise walking in to the wall and breaking her perfect nose. They went inside and were greeted by Natalie and James. Natalie gave Rachel a long hug.

"I'm so glad you're here," She whispered.

"I wish I was glad to be here" Rachel replied.

"Just ignore everything Denise says and you'll be fine" Natalie advised.

"You dislike her don't you" Rachel said.

"What was your first clue?" Natalie said and Rachel chuckled.

"Well don't worry, I'm in your club. I hate her already" She said.

"Anyone want a drink?" Micky asked.

"Yes I'd love a glass of white wine please, Mick" Rachel said as she walked back over to Peter.

"Do you think that's wise?" Peter asked her discreetly.

"Trust me Pete, I'm gonna need it" Rachel replied.

Dinner was served and everyone sat down at the table. Micky was at the head of the table. Rachel sat in between Peter and Davy on one side of the table and Natalie sat in between Denise and James on the other side.

"Ok well we really should eat, Micky's worked very hard on this all day" Denise told them. Rachel looked at Micky.

"You cooked?" She asked him, Micky opened his mouth to say something but Denise cut him off.

"Oh yeah, he's quite the whiz in the kitchen" She said, patting his hand and grinning at him.

"I can't believe it! You used to burn salad, when did you learn to cook?" Rachel said. Micky waited incase Denise was going to say something but she was too busy checking her reflection in her dessert spoon.

"Oh well, you know you pick these things up when your fiancée is a worse cook then you" He said.

"Wife Mick" Denise corrected and Micky looked at her.

"Right wife, sorry."

When they had finished the main course Micky disappeared in to the kitchen and after a couple of minutes Rachel wondered in, in search of him.

"Hi, need a hand?" She asked.

"No I'm okay thanks, I'll be out with the sweet in a second" He told her.

"Did you call Mel?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah I called Mel."

"And?"

"Everything's cool, we had a long chat, she apologised, I apologised. It was good to talk to her we're fine now."

"Good I'm glad" Rachel replied, she watched him for a moment then said, "What are you doing anyway?"

"Just putting the dishes in to soak for when I need to wash them later" Micky told her.

"You wash up too! Wow Denise has turned you into a proper little house wife hasn't she" Rachel teased.

"Hey! I'm a lot more domesticated then you give me credit for you know!" Micky said

"Yeah and I also know you're extremely lazy and wouldn't do this stuff unless you really had to" Rachel told him, Micky smiled

"You take great pleasure in taking the mickey outta me don't you?" He replied and Rachel grinned.

"No, not me!" She said pretending to be shocked "I would never do a thing like that."

"Yeah of course, you know I don't believe you right?"

"Micky what are you doing, your guests are waiting" Micky turned around to see Denise standing by the door, the grin disappeared from his face.

"Sorry Denise, it's my fault I distracted him" Rachel told her.

"Obviously" Denise replied. Rachel was starting to lose her temper with Denise, she had been nothing but rude since they arrived.

"Right, well I'll leave you to it then" Rachel said, trying her best not to shoot daggers at Denise as she walked past but failing miserably. Micky watched Rachel go then looked at his wife, unable to keep the daggers from his own eyes.

"What?" Denise asked, completely unaware she'd done anything wrong.

"Nothing, just get out to our guests and I'll bring out the sweet."

"Are you mad at me?"

"I really don't want to get into this right now, okay, like you said, our guests are waiting" Micky told her.

"Well you better hurry with the rest of the food then hadn't you" Denise replied then walked out of the room. Micky rubbed his temples, took a deep breath and picked up the food and took it into the dining room. When he arrived Denise was in conversation with Peter, Davy was talking with Natalie and James and Rachel was doing her best to be polite but Micky could tell it was proving difficult for her.

"Here you go guys, something simple, double chocolate fudge cake," Micky said setting the try on the table.

"Oh Micky!" Denise whined, "You know I'm on a diet!"

"Come on babe, one slice won't do you any harm, just this once" Micky told her

"Fine but just a small piece" She replied, almost disgusted Micky could even consider making her eat it. Micky sighed mentally.

"Okay, what about you Nats?" He asked.

"Slap on a big piece there, Dad, fudge cake is my weakness" Natalie said and Micky laughed.

"Aw, she's her father's daughter alright," Peter said looking at Natalie and both Natalie and Micky grinned.

"Rach?" Micky asked

"You bet! As big as you can make it, I'm never one to pass up on a bit of cake" Rachel said.

"It shows" Denise said under her breath, and Micky was the only one who heard her.

Micky served the cake. Peter continued his conversation with Denise. Davy and Rachel chatted with Natalie and James. Micky didn't say much, he sat back in his chair watching Denise carefully, and listening to everything she said, just in case.


	15. Chapter 15

Once they had finished their cake everyone moved into the lounge for coffee. James and Natalie had decided to hit the town so only the three former Monkees, Rachel, and Denise were left. They had settled in the lounge. Micky and Rachel were sitting together giggling between the two of them, something that was bothering Denise so she butted into their conversation.

"So Rachel, are you seeing anyone at the moment?" She asked.

"No... no I'm not" She replied without being able to stop herself glancing at Micky.

"Oh that's okay, people your age have trouble attracting new partners it's nothing to worry about" Denise told her.

"I'm not worried," Rachel replied sharply. "Anyway Micky's three years older then me and he did alright."

"He certainly did" Denise said with a smug grin "But he's a man it's much more difficult for a woman over a certain age."

"I didn't realise you were such an expert" Rachel said.

"I'm not really I just know certain things. Maybe it's the grey hair that's putting men off, maybe if you did something with that things would go better for you."

"Denise, that's enough" Micky said.

"I attracted people just fine," Rachel told her '"Just ask your husband,"' she added mentally.

"I'm sure you do but you're not with anyone are you."

"I said that's enough" Micky said to Denise, he was starting to have just about his fill of her rudeness for one evening.

"I'm alone by choice Denise. I don't need to be with anyone. I'm fine as I am thank you. I'm some pathetic school girl who thinks she needs a man to make her life complete" Rachel replied.

"Are you saying I am?"

"I didn't say a word," Rachel told her.

"No, but that's what you insinuated" Denise said, starting to get even angrier.

"I think you're taking it a little too personally."

"Yeah well I think you should leave" Denise told her and she stood up, Rachel did to.

"Denise! No Rach you don't have to go" Micky said standing up as well.

"It's okay Mick, I was going to leave anyway, I'll call you later okay."

"Not if I can help it," Denise said, again under her breath. Peter stood up.

"I'm gonna go too" He said, "I am Rachel's ride after all."

"Yeah I think I'm gonna go as well" Davy said.

"No you don't have to go guys, Denise didn't mean it" Micky told them.

"Yes I did!" Denise said defensively. Micky looked at her, unable to believe she was behaving this way in front of his oldest and best friends, then followed Davy, Peter and Rachel out the door.

"I'm so sorry, Rach, there's no excuse for her behaviour tonight" Micky said.

"Don't worry about it Mick, it's okay it's not your fault."

"Yes it is."

"No, it really isn't. Don't worry about it she doesn't bother me, I'm fine."

"Well it bothers me. You're a better woman then I am...um...I mean...well you know what I mean" Micky replied and Rachel laughed.

"Yes Mick, luckily I do" she said, Micky smiled.

"I really am sorry, Rach, I don't understand her, she's not usually like that."

"Well maybe now you're married, she's showing her true colours" Rachel said, then walked away, leaving Micky to think about what she had just said.

"See you later Micky, thanks for dinner it was delicious" Davy said.

"You're welcome Davy, sorry the evening ended so abruptly" Micky told him.

"Hey, don't worry about it I'm used to it. I used to be in a band with this guy from Texas, he and the worst temper" Davy said with a grin and Micky laughed.

"Yeah you'd think he would've gotten mellower as he's gotten older wouldn't you" he replied.

"Well he wouldn't be Nesmith with out the temper would he" Davy said.

"That's true, thanks for coming Davy."

"No problem mate, see you soon" Davy said then went and joined Rachel by the car.

"Thanks for everything Mick, you'll have to come over to my place next time" Peter said.

"Yeah well we'll see" Micky said.

"Don't worry about Denise, Mick, she's probably feeling a little threatened by Rachel's presence, she knows your history and it unsettles her" Peter said.

"I hope you're right. Thanks Pete I forget how wise you are" Micky told him and Peter smiled.

"I'm not wise, I'm just able to see the bigger picture that's all. I'll see you later okay" Peter told him then went over and opened the car. Micky watched the three of them leave then went back inside. Denise was sitting in the lounge with a glass of wine.

"Is she gone?" Denise asked.

"Oh yeah she's gone alright, I'm surprised she stayed that long. What the hell do you think you were playing at!" Micky yelled.

"Excuse me?" Denise asked, looking at him.

"You were nothing but rude to Rachel from the moment she arrived."

"She was rude to me too, I'm your wife for Christ sake, why didn't you stick up for me?"

"Because you were the one in the wrong! Damn it Denise, you know how special Rachel is to me".

"Yeah I do know!" Denise screamed, "I know okay, I can hardly forget can I. You remind me everyday. I've lived in her shadow ever since we got together and I'm sick of it. You think she's better than me, hell you even think Jennifer is better than me. It seems the only person you think I'm better than is Kathryn and that's only because she screwed you over."

"I don't have to listen to this" Micky said starting to head out the door but Denise ran after him and grabbed his arm.

"News flash Micky I'm not your precious Rachel okay! I never will be."

"Yeah, well, that's a mistake I'm gonna have to live with isn't it" He said, Denise let go of his arm.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked.

"Nothing, look I can't deal with this right now, I'll see you in the morning" He turned around and headed into the hallway.

"What, where are you going?" Denise called. Micky turned back round and looked at her.

"I'm going to sleep in the guest room tonight. I need to clear my head," He said. Denise looked at him with hurt in her eyes.

"You don't have to do that," She said in barely a whisper "Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"Yes Denise, you did" He replied and he trudged out the door and up the stairs.


	16. Chapter 16

Another two weeks went by and it was coming to the end of Rachel's visit. She hadn't really had much to do with Micky after the incident with Denise at dinner, something that bothered her a lot, because she knew Denise was probably stopping him getting in contact with her. She came down stairs one morning and found Peter in the kitchen sitting at the table.

"Morning Pete" She said as she sat at the table.

"Good morning sweetheart, would you like some coffee?" He asked.

"Yes please that would be lovely" Rachel replied. Peter poured some into a cup for her. "Thank you, listen Pete I've got something to discuss with you," she said.

"Oh yeah, well go ahead".

"Okay, I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I think It's time James and I returned home" She said.

"What!" Peter shouted, almost dropping the coffee pot as he returned it to the counter.

"I need to go home now, I'm started to miss it and I really think it's time " Rachel explained.

"If this is about Denise then I..." Peter tried to say but Rachel cut him off.

"No Pete, it's really not. I'm not bothered about her any more. It's just been something that's been on my mind for a while. I thought about staying, ever since Davy asked me to and, it probably sounds silly but it frightened me. I don't have enough time left in my life to uproot myself and start over. My life is in London, that's where I belong".

"Well it sounds like you've made your mind up, I don't suppose there's anything I can do to make you stay?"

"No I'm sorry, I think the only way I'd stay now is to be with Micky but we both know that's not going to happen. You were right when you told me I needed to get over it. It'll take time but I'll get over it" Rachel said.

"I'm gonna miss you so much."

"I'm gonna miss you, too, but we're gonna stay in touch this time. I'll make sure of it and you're always welcome to come stay with me in England."

"I'd like that. It's been so great having you guys here the last couple of weeks, it's gonna seem so empty with out you" Peter replied.

"I'm staying" Came a voice from behind them. Rachel turned around in her chair and saw James standing behind her.

"I beg your pardon?" Rachel asked.

"I love it here, Mum. It's so much better then home. Nats is here and Davy and Peter, I don't want to leave."

"What about school and your friends?"

"I can transfer Schools no problem and as for my friends, well I can call and write."

"I don't know James, I don't like the idea of you staying here by yourself" Rachel told him.

"So stay too," James told her.

"I wish I could honey, anyway where would you live?"

"With Nats, we've talked about it. I knew you would want to go home soon and I told Nats I didn't wanna go back. She said I'd be more than welcome to stay with her. She's gonna get me a job where she works and we've started looking at how to get me into school here" James explained.

"Oh you have, have you? Well it looks like you've got everything all worked out then doesn't it" Rachel said.

"I won't stay if you don't want me to. Mum," James told her.

"Well let me think about it." Rachel replied and James nodded.

"You're absolutely sure you wanna go Rach?" Peter asked her.

"Yeah Pete I am, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologise Rach...so um...you gonna tell Micky that you're leaving?"

"I really don't know yet, that's another thing I need to think about. I mean it's not like he's made much of an effort to see me since dinner so perhaps he wouldn't care less if I left."

"Of course he would" Peter told her.

"Well we'll see. I do want to tell Mike and Mel though. Is it okay if I call them later? Mel said they'd come back and see me before I left."

"Yeah of course it's okay" Peter replied.

So later that day Rachel called the airline, then called the Nesmith range in Texas and told Melanie of her plans and Melanie kept her promise and told Rachel that she and Mike would come and say goodbye to her in person. When she had finished her call to Melanie she came back in to the lounge where she and left James and Peter watching television.

"Right that's all set then, day after tomorrow" Rachel told them.

"You sure you won't change your mind?" Peter asked her and Rachel smiled.

"Yeah Pete I'm sure" She said then she looked at James "I thought about this all morning James and well, you can stay if you still want to" She said. James' eyes lit up.

"Oh Mum that's great thank you so much" He said, jumping up and hugging his mother.

"What about Micky? Did you think about that too?" Peter said.

"Yeah I thought about it and I still haven't decided yet, I think I'll sleep on it tonight and see how I feel in the morning".

"Good idea, have you got anything planned for the rest of the day?" Peter asked her.

"No not a thing" Rachel replied.

"And what about you James?" Peter asked him.

"No me either."

"Great, come on then I'm taking you out shopping and then dinner, my treat" Peter told them.


End file.
